Over the past few posts, I’ve focused a lot on the college admissions process–which is understandable since that’s all that has been on my mind. And although I’m eagerly waiting for May when my thoughts can center on prom and graduation (mostly prom), it’s still November, Thanksgiving actually. Perhaps due to a turkey overdose, my thoughts have drifted to all the other things that have happened to me this year. I definitely have grown up (maybe because of those overnight college visits….I’ll leave it at that). My problems are so much more “adult”: drugs, alcohol, relationship issues, money. It’s so WEIRD for me to think about such topics. I mean, I’m a kid! Right? I guess not. My actions last weekend were not child’s play.
Thinking these things is both intimidating and exciting. The thing that really worries me is that I don’t know what kind of decisions I will make next year. I won’t have my parent’s retribution to face if I stagger home under the influence of illegal things. It won’t be a big deal if I stay out all night, nobody will bat an eyelash if a boy stays overnight in my dorm room (except perhaps my roommate). I can’t help but think that every decision I make now dictates the person I will become. I admit it, I’m worried. I’m scared. Can I trust myself to be on my own in a year?